“So, like, would you shave your balls, but like professionally?”—Said by some soccer player outside my office, walking to the elevator, presumably talking about the world of professional sack shaving to his other soccer buddies. Are they shaving because they are professionals, or are they looking for it to be done professionally? None-the-less: I will never understand soccer.
One year ago today, I got in the driver’s seat of a car that my mother paid for and gave me and drove from Portland, Oregon to Los Angeles, California to (at most) flourish and (at least) not die. Ten years ago today, some normal-sized people hijacked some normal-sized planes and flew them into…
The “actor” portraying Edward Penishands in the great cinematic gem “Edward Penishands” was paid only in mushrooms. He was crazy-high on the shrooms while filming the entire movie. And for the two sequels? I guess we’ll never know.
File this under ‘crazy true things I hear at cast parties.’
“Nope, sorry. But I have this hamburger if you want. OH! Wait, there’s bacon on it.”—Said by me, to a homeless guy in Greenwich Village asking for, quote, “change.” I just spent my last few bucks on the hamburger (with bacon) mentioned above and did indeed give it to him, (because drunk Tyler is a generous fellow,) but also verbally mentioned that there was bacon on it as well. Apparently drunk Tyler was concerned that if the homeless chap was a vegetarian, he should be aware that this HAMBURGER might have BACON on it. Drunk Tyler has some explaining to do. And needs another hamburger.
It’s been weird - I’ve been less moody, much happier, and internet-wise a little less pessimistic and sassy; either I’m going through some sort of twisted reverse menopause or I am really enjoying myself here in this city.
This internship experience really is cementing what I want to do with the rest of my life: theatre.
More specifically, I want to write and direct. In New York City. Acting is great, yes, and I’m sure there are some other great cities, but it’s something about this one. It feels right. Oh, i’m still going to travel, but I’m sure i’ll house myself in New York. I think I want to write a musical about the big apple: Coming to Broadway this fall, a new musical “HEY I’m Walkin’ Here!” (With the smash hit “Is That Fanny-pack Ironic?”)
I’ve always been at my best when I surround myself with talented people; I feel lucky that the most talented people I know are my best friends. Right now, I am in a rehearsal space on the lower east side with experienced, professional, talented, hysterically nice gents and gals that range from actors to stage-managers, a choreographer, composer, and a director that has also done drag in a Moliere play!! Most of them have lived in NY or been on Broadway multiple times. It’s incredible that I’m in the same room with them.
I’ve made copies of scripts, done some scene-work, contributed to a lot of table work and script-edits, been a music page turner, doughnut sharer, table and chair mover, and a non-cigarette smoker who brings a lighter with him just in case someone needs a light. I have songs stuck in my head from a musical that hasn’t even been completed yet. The text is so relatable and is tying in with my life right now. Being frustrated with school. Frustration with dating and love. How love conquers all! How awesome (and delicious) cats are (maybe.) How fucked up rich people and the government can be. Okay, so maybe not the cat one, but everything else: WOW.
Last night I saw my favorite dirty sexy sketch comedy duo, Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting, and a great variety show with some awesome comedians and a writer from the Daily Show … who is also a comic (surprise!) We hung out at bars and talked about life, New York City, stand-up, ski ball, Lou Reed, and politics. Now I’m prepping some jokes and I’m going to try my hand at stand up at an awesome open mic next Tuesday.
All is well. I’ve come a long way from where I was a year ago. Alex (the director) and Michael (the composer) and I had a great chat about acting versus directing - and that it’s going to be tough. In a sense acting is easier, (now before you say “Pshhhhhh! Yah right, Welsh!” listen,) acting wise, after you graduate college with a degree in whatever, you apply to an acting Grad School. You are in a giant Olympic-size swimming pool with other actors; some in the deep end (more opportunities, making a living off of acting) and some in the shallow end (acting is the part time thing, waiting for a ‘big break’ of sorts.) It’s competitive. And frustrating. You finish grad school and enter the big bad world of theatre or film or tv or bar-tending or whatever. Directing is not a chemically treated giant pool; it’s more of a kiddie pool, maybe even a puddle. There are directing grad programs, but they are rare and often just an extension of an acting program. Directing, writing and producing is more of a one-on-one business. No auditions, no pools, no angry grad students. It’s about who you know. I’m excited to get to know everybody in this room. I’ve been furiously taking notes and asking questions to the actors and Alex during our lunch breaks and on the subway and such. I want to make a good impression.